FIFA Announces Range Of Bullshit Crypto & Metaverse Games

Image for article titled FIFA Announces Whole Lineup Of Nightmarish Blockchain World Cup Games

Image: AI League

Earlier this year, EA Sports and FIFA have ended a 30-year partnership, mainly because the irreparably corrupt sports governing body began making all sorts of outlandish demands for the rights to their name.. EA walked away and FIFA tried to pretend everything would be fine. It’s clearly not good.

As we reported at the time:

According reports from last october, the negotiations between EA and FIFA had become complicated. EA wanted to extend the license to areas such as NFTs, while FIFA wanted to retain more control so they could partner with other companies. In the end, it seems EA wasn’t interested in paying the billion-dollar price tag that would have been demanded to extend the existing exclusivity deal.

FIFA was very quick to do tflexible partnerships with “other companies”, which have already succeeded in an embarrassing situation Roblox linkbut things got worse earlier today when FIFA issued a press release titled “FIFA Unveils Range of New Web 3.0 Games Ahead of FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022”.

The ad, which promises it’s esports but is actually peddling horrible crypto/metaverse shit, states that four more FIFA World Cup matches will take place alongside the Roblox one, and all of them will feature some sort of nightmarish Web 3.0 integration.

The first is AI League: FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Editionwhich is a “casual 4v4 soccer game, played between AI-controlled characters, with player input at fun and tactical times”. This is a common theme in web 3.0 games, because it is much easier to design and implement. It also takes all the fun out of the game, another hallmark of Web 3.0 titles.

The second is FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 in the highlands metaverse. “Upland is the largest blockchain-based metaverse mapped to the real world,” the statement reads, “where players can buy and sell virtual properties. Now they can collect official FIFA World Cup digital assets. , including legendary video clips from the tournament.” I feel like I’m back in March 2021.

Image for article titled FIFA Announces Whole Lineup Of Nightmarish Blockchain World Cup Games

Screenshot: Highland Metaverse

The third, Matchday Challenge: 2022 FIFA World Cup Qatar Edition“targets the high emotional level of football fans through a highly engaging casual social prediction game based on football cards, where the essence of fun derives not just from ‘doing it right’, but from being the best among your friends”.

The fourth is FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 on Phygtl. We spent some time debating how it would be pronounced before I finally settled on “Fig-Tull.” This doesn’t even sound like a game, but more like a blockchain fever dream:

Phygtl, a mobile fan engagement app that takes fandom to a new dimension. Fans of an immersive experience join in the mission to co-create the world’s first fan-generated digital reward. Fans can augment a golden soccer ball with the palms of their hands in their real environment, possess a limited fragment of it to attach and eternalize their handpicked FIFA World Cup photos and video moments. A digital representation of the eternal fandom.

It’s hard to choose which is the funniest thing out of all these ads, from months after the bursting of the trading bubble to the fact that no one presents them has any interest in video game design, but still got their bag from FIFA.

I think the winner, however, is the fact that watching FIFA go around like this, with no idea what they’re doing, almost makes you feel bad for EA Sports. I wonder how many years they must have sat in a boardroom with some FIFA morons who started this kind of bullshit? I’m sure the answer, given their acrimonious division, is “too much”.

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