Growing up baseball was my first love. During Elementary and Middle school I played other sports, but baseball was the sport I dreamed of playing professionally. Cal Ripken Jr. was my hero and I envisioned taking over SS one day for the Baltimore Orioles.J Growing up I played infield and the first day of tryouts at South Stokes my freshmen year was just a formality. Complete devastation would best describe my reaction after two days of tryouts because the coach told me I was cut. Not only did I not make varsity, which I thought was a given, I also did not make the JV team. How could any reasonable coach cut me? Obviously he did not know I had been a little league all-star and was destined to be the starting SS for the Baltimore Orioles.
When I got home that day I went straight to my room. When my dad got home he wanted to get an update on tryouts. Through tears of embarrassment I told him that I had been cut from both teams. He told me that we would talk the next day about our next step regarding my baseball future. I told him I was never playing again and he said we would talk the next day. The next day he presented a plan for me to continue baseball and even though I had my doubts, he told me to listen to the entire plan without interrupting him.
The first thing he asked me was did I want to play college baseball? I said of course, but I could not even make the high school team. He then shared with me a plan to accomplish that goal. He went through his plan that involved giving up other sports, (avoid injury and focus on one thing) changing positions, (few pitchers were on the current HS team) begin pitching every day, (building arm strength) and finally going to meet Kirk Goodson for a clinic on pitching (taught me mechanics and the metal side of pitching). Over the next three years I became a decent pitcher and earned a scholarship to UNCP. My father did not give up on me, my father did not complain to the coach that cut me, and my father gave me a choice in pursuing a dream. That sick feeling of being cut disappeared, but last week it crept back into my life.
Over the past two years we have received mostly positive updates on Marley’s development. Unfortunately this has caused us to become a little lax with her hone therapy recently. This was pointed out to us last week when we took Marley to a different clinic here in Bangkok. Jana told me that we received a discouraging report from the OT and PT at the new clinic. As Jana talked, that “cut feeling” crept into my throat as I basically heard; “Sorry, but your daughter is not making the cut right now in these areas!”. This was tough to hear when for the past few years we have received an enormous amount of positive feedback and very little negative feedback. The OT and PT explained to Jana that Marley’s core was very weak, her hips and trunk were also weak, she was walking too much on the inside of her feet, and her eye tracking was not very fluid. For the first year of Marley’s life I battled the feeling of “my child is not like other children”, but now we were facing more delays. Honestly, I always viewed Marley as a “Down syndrome star”; the one you would pick first to be on your team. I think we all view our children in this way at some point, but now I could hear the coach saying it all over again, “Sorry, but right now you don’t have the skills for this team, try again next year.” So what do you do? My first reaction was to question the feedback. I told Jana, these therapists don’t know what they are talking about. Lets look for another center! But as we talked more, we started to realize this was exactly what we needed as parents. As much as the kick in the butt hurts, there are times we all need it.
Last night I thought back to how my father handled me being cut in high school. Jana and I decided we would buckle down and take the same approach with Marley over the next few months. Jana has put a plan on paper and we have started talking about how we can split up the responsibilities of therapy. The additional costs of Marley attending this new center will require a budget crunch, but we have made some adjustments for the next six months. And finally we are refocusing as a couple. The best thing is Marley still sees therapy as play. She does not understand the reports yet and the constant testing she will endure the rest of her life. Before I was jealous when someone would proclaim, “I have never been cut from anything in my life!” Now I am starting to realize that by getting cut I experienced a life-changing event that strengthened my relationship with my father and prepared me for the “real world”. At the time I hated being cut, but now I know it has only benefited me as a person, husband, and father. There will be days that Marley gets “cut from the team” but I will use those moments to teach, inspire, and love my little girl.
Leave a Reply