Sometimes in life you face a crossroads and you are not sure which direction to take.  Ever since retuning to Bangkok in July, we have felt a sense of burn out in our family.  We were not home sick or angry about anything, but we were just feeling worn out with living overseas.  It became a methodical day-to-day routine for us working and living here and that sense of complacency had not been a part of our life here.  Jana was tired, I was frustrated with work, and Marley, well; she was being a terror in our house.  It is amazing the more she grows the more work she requires from us to get through the day.  Anyway, Jana and I started having our first discussions about leaving ICS, which really had never been a topic before.  We weren’t really looking to move anywhere in particular, but we were seriously looking to leave ICS.  I actually started to apply at other schools, churches, and colleges in various parts of the world.  Jana started looking at other opportunities for us in the States and other countries.  We finally hit our breaking point, and I met with the administration here at ICS and told them I was planning to step down as Athletic Director after this year.  For a few months we were forming a plan to leave ICS and find a new direction for our lives.

But, like most things in life, a few things happened that changed our perspective on our situation at ICS.  First, I got a letter from one of my volleyball players.  This is a girl that I had taught and coached since 6^th grade (now 9^th grade).  She is currently on my team and she wrote me a letter about why she played volleyball and why she wanted us to stay.  Of course we should never embark on something to just receive praise, but during those times when you think no one is listening to you; it is nice to hear you are making a difference in someone’s life.  She wrote about the things she had learned from our family about life and perseverance. Personal affirmation is powerful and I want to encourage you to share this week with someone that has made a difference in your life.  Next we found a house, which is significant because Jana has wanted to move into a house for the past few years.  The house is a little more than we pay now, but we have a porch, a yard, and a full kitchen.  This gives us a chance to take the next step in building a more traditional family with our own space.  It gets old sharing your apartment building with over 2000 other people on a nightly basis.  Now Jana can have a place that is truly hers to do all the projects that she has been dying to try over the last few years.  Finally, we got more encouraging news form ICS about Marley’s future at ICS.  The administration did not fully commit to letting Marley attend ICS when she is the appropriate age, but they gave me an assurance that they would try to make that happen when the time came.  They listened to us about what we see for Marley and how she could benefit from attending ICS.  It was the first time that I had left a meeting with admin about special Ed. and felt encouraged about Marley one day walking into ICS with a uniform on like every other child.

I believe these past few months of doubt and confusion has been beneficial for our family.  It forced Jana and I to have some good talks about why we are living overseas and how we see the next chapter of our lives unfolding.  During these talks, I kept thinking about my dad repeating that phrase I had heard many times before, “The grass is not always greener on the other side.”  How true that is for many of us when we fall into the trap of complacency.  There are times in our lives that we need change, and times in our lives that we need to stay right where we are.  For us, we believe this is the time we need to hunker down and keep fighting the fight here in BKK.  Please continue to pray for our family as we make adjustments to living in a house, Marley possibly attending school 5 days a week, and the next two years we have committed to at ICS.  Thanks again for everything and we could not be doing what we are doing without you.

Before I began I must tell you that we truly enjoy living in Thailand.  Many things about this culture are fascinating and different from our culture in the States.  Like any culture, there are things that you think, man that is a great idea, and things you see that make you say, why would you ever do that?  I have realized that every culture I experience has positive and negative aspects about it.  With that being said, I must share with you our most recent experience seeing Marley’s developmental therapist here in Bangkok.

When we visit our therapists in the States it is always an exciting and humbling experience.  The stateside therapists will begin by observing Marley and working with her on different tasks.  She will then gives us a summary of her progress and then a summary of things that we must continue to improve.  It is almost like a parent relationship because you get this encouragement then a dose of reality in Marley’s deficiencies at certain milestones.  We always walk away thinking, well here we go again with our new goals and tasks for the next six months.  But, when we visit our developmental therapist in Thailand we get a completely different response.

Maybe it is the culture or because we are foreigners, but the feedback is very different here in Bangkok.  We had an appointment with our developmental therapist in August when we got back this time from our summer break.  The entire morning at school I was texting Jana to get the feedback from the Bangkok therapist.  Finally she texted me back and told me she was done with the appointment.  I texted back and asked her what the therapist had told her that we needed to work on with Marley.  Jana texted back, “Nothing, she said she was a little angel!”  Honestly, when I read that I gagged on the water I was drinking.  A little angel, Marley has obviously manipulated this young therapist with her whimsical smile and hugs.  A little angel? I guess Jana did not tell the therapist about Marley hugging her and trying to bite mom’s ear off that night.  She certainly did not tell her about Marley picking up our poor cat and body slamming her to the tile floor last weekend.  And what about me asking Marley to blow a kiss at dinner to our guests and she turned around and slapped me in the face.  A little angel J Good Grief!  It actually makes me laugh when I think about Marley’s little way of manipulating people into thinking she is this little angel that God put on this earth that never cries, gets mad, or throws tantrums.  I honestly believe she knows how to manipulate everyone outside of our home and uses it to her advantage.  Even our poor mothers are under her spell as they often tell me, “Now Boomer, you know she would not do something like that”.  Yes she would, I just saw her take a chunk out of Jana’s ear.  She is a little Mike Tyson!

Besides Marley leading her crusade of world domination through manipulation, everything is going well with our transition back to BKK.  It was not easy saying good-bye to family and friends this summer, but coming back to our own home is comforting.  Jana and I are starting to write some about our experiences with Marley and Marley has stared school.  She did well on her first day and we think it is going to be a positive experience for her.  Sports have started up at ICS and the kids are excited to be back at school.  Jana has already organized a baby shower and our couple small group for this year.  Both have started and going great.  It still amazes me how busy she is even though she is not teaching at ICS

Prayer Requests

New School Year For Marley – She is able to adjust to a new schedule and keep up with the other children.  They have already told us if she falls behind then she will be moved down to the infant class.

Budget Management – We are now paying for full time school and full time speech therapy for Marley.  Unfortunately neither the school nor the insurance will cover these expenses.  We are not in dire need but we will need to budget a little better.  Might have to eat a few more Thai meals a week instead of international food.

Christmas – It is looking like we will be staying here for Christmas.  The new expenses we have and the cost of travel is getting a little overwhelming for us.  This will be the first Christmas since Marley’s birth that we have stayed here.  We are not completely sure if we will stay, but it looks like a better solution for us if Marley is able to continue school the second semester.

New Ministries – We are engaging in many different ministries at ICS and outside of ICS this year.  Please pray for God to continue to open doors for us and show us how to engage these new tasks more effectively.  We are excited about the new paths we are taking after being here for 8 years.

Marley’s Speech – Marley is still behind her peers in speech development.  We hope that the combination of school and more frequent speech therapy will help her progress with her words.  Please pray for her and us as we continue to facilitate more speech from Marley.

A few months ago, Jana woke me up one night after I had gone to bed. I looked up at her and she had tears in her eyes. I became very frightened and asked her what was wrong. She told me that a Thai couple’s daughter (from the awareness center she visits regularly) had died in June from heart surgery complications.

The other day we went to have breakfast with this couple.I had never met the couple but Jana had become friends with them through the Rainbow Room (Awareness Center). The husband is Thai and studied at Georgia Tech in which he got his PHD in engineering. The wife studied in San Francisco where she got her Master’s Degree. They both lived in Atlanta for several years before moving back to Thailand to help their families. Their daughter was born in April (a year early) and actually played with Marley several times at the Rainbow Room. It was very sad to look at pictures of their daughter on their IPAD and see Marley pointing and trying to talk to the girl in the pictures. I have no doubt in mind that she recognized the girl from playing together at the Rainbow Room.

As they took us through their story it made me very sad and very nervous. Their daughter had a hole in her heart and the hole started forming into a valve. They took her in for surgery but after the surgery her heart was pumping blood correctly to the lower part of her body but it was also pumping blood without oxygen to the upper part of her body. Within a few days she became very sick and they had to have another emergency surgery. She did not make it and died. The couple told us that they took her in on a Tuesday for what they thought would be a routine heart surgery and left a week later without their daughter.

I can’t begin to imagine what life would be like without Marley around. I have told you in the past that when she was first born I had a hard time with her disability. I still struggle sometimes with her limitations but her personality now melts my heart. Even when I get mad at her; her little pucker face makes me smile. I know death is part of life, but on the same note, what do you say to a couple that just lost their only child at one year old? I often question God about the events that happen around me, but I have to believe that God can bring good out of this situation. In the past it was very easy for me to say this is life, but now that I have a daughter with Down syndrome I can understand the pain this father must feel. Right about the time that he was beginning to accept this new person and love her; she is snatched away by death. The only good news from all of this is that we spent about two hours talking to them on Sunday and they are very excited about meeting in the future. The reality is that the healing process might take a long time but I believe that is exactly why God placed us in BKK.